Part 1 of Hookers and Hangers . . .the written kind.
Chapter 1 (help! many revisions): Lightning flashed against dark clouds, and Clara woke with a start, disorientated by the sunlight warming the curtain over her small window.
Chapter 2: In a room without windows, set deep within the Sword Hall of Skycliff, Stelia watched Dantor ease into the council room.
Chapter 3: Braced against the crumbling brown ramparts of Skycliff’s seawall, Clara leaned into the misty blue horizon.
Chapter 4: Behind closed the door of his topmost tower room above his private quarters, King Alexandros stood staring into an archaic mirror rimmed with a rusty frame.
Chapter 5: Stelia fought her way across Trinity Hall, cutting her way to Dantor.
Chapter 6: “A liability? And here I thought you had affection for our young Prince,” said Dantor.
Chapter 10: Clara stumbled over the doorway, and into darkness, falling into complete emptiness.
Chapter 15: Clara stayed still next to Master Dantor, pressing the cloth against his side, hoping to stop, or at least slow the bleeding.
Chapter 16: When Stelia saw Dantor’s wound she felt as if a knife had been plunged into her own chest, and she gasped.
Chapter 17: With her gear stored in a narrow bunk, and her sword still strapped to her back, Clara followed her mom into the medical officer’s cabin.
Chapter 20: Five days of routine passed, with no sea serpents or foul weather.
Chapter 21: Two more griffins flying towards the ship interrupted all conversation, and all eyes turned upward to watch them soaring, and circling, slowing with each round until they landed one after another aboard the ship.
Chapter 22: Down on his knees, with his neck uncomfortably exposed, King Alexandros wanted only one thing . . . a swift death.
I definitely want to read this!
ReplyDeleteFor the first line, you really want help? (Not that I'm good at first lines.) But if it's from Clara's point of view, and she was asleep, how would she know about the lightning? Or is that part of her dream? Or am I way off? Probably way off...
This is a fun idea! I saw one earlier on a different blog. Looking forward to the hangers on Wed.
ReplyDeleteCh 1: I agree with Alex (not that first lines are my specialty either) that the lightening and then sunshine imagery is confusing. If she's dreaming it needs more clarity. Also, general note: I read one where someone was watching someone else. Beware the watching. Make sure sentences center on action.
These are intriguing and certainly make me want to read more!
Ohhh, sea serpents? Fun! This story seems all mystical and magical, just how I like 'em.
ReplyDelete"No sea serpents or foul weather" sounds like a there may be a fun sea journey in this story. I can't resist a fun sea journey :)
ReplyDeleteAllison (Geek Banter)
Alex - Thank you! That was huge help. The lightning is in her dream, but I was afraid of putting in a huge dream sequence so I shortened it to one line . . . it may need at least two or three.
ReplyDeleteBarbara - Thanks!!!
Amber - Thanks! Yes, mystical and magical.
Allison - Great to hear that! Thanks!
beautiful & descriptive first lines!
ReplyDeletemy fave is the last! exciting fantasy!
Your chapter 22 'hooker' is stellar! I can't wait to read to that point -- it raises so many questions, and gives so many possibilities.
ReplyDeleteTara - Thanks!!!
ReplyDeleteNickie - Good!!! Thanks!
This sounds very exciting! I like 10, 16, and 22 - very vivid.
ReplyDelete